Parent Hacks For Non-Hackers
I’d like to say that I’m so busy I simply don’t have time for brilliant parent hacks such as turning your old laundry detergent bottles into food. The truth is that I just don’t care. I don’t want to...
View ArticleLet’s “Chase Lightning Bugs” On Halloween
This post was originally written for Baby Gizmo. My oldest child wants to be a dragon for Halloween. I’m not an “Oh cool, I’ll make one from old jeans and false hope,” kind of mom. So I’ve been...
View ArticleUntil Tomorrow
I watch you sleep and soak in the finest details of the fuzzy hair on your pillow, the hand resting in a twist by your face, the awkward pull of the shirt you sleep in, the disheveled flannel pants,...
View ArticleThe Startling Realities Of Motherhood
This post was originally written for Baby Gizmo. Has anyone ever woken you from a peaceful slumber with an ice-cold bucket of water? You’re sleeping peacefully then BAM, water in the fucking face. You...
View ArticleWhen Mom Goes On Vacation
This post originally appeared on Baby Gizmo. Not every mother gets to go on vacation. And by vacation, I mean being away from your home city at a radius of no less than 100 miles with no kids. If you...
View ArticleIt Was a Vegas Vacation
Three days in Vegas nearly killed me via booze and sleep deprivation. We returned Sunday night. On Monday morning I promptly locked my keys in the car with it running. Proof that I lost something out...
View Article5 Terrifying Questions From Your Kids
This post originally appeared on Baby Gizmo. Can I get my own grocery cart? This sounds benign enough until you find yourself shopping with the equivalent of a poorly trained NASCAR driver with no...
View ArticleWhy I Don’t Shop On Black Friday
“It’s the day after Thanksgiving. Let’s go stand in line for stuff! Yeah, that sounds super fun. Just let me go kill myself first.” Crowds I have personal space and it’s precious to me. I don’t want...
View ArticleIT
I wake with a knot in my stomach and an elastic cord around my neck, just stretchy enough to breathe. There is an overarching thickness to my thoughts even as they race with my spattering pulse. Sludge...
View ArticleWill You Please STFU About The Elf?
This shows you the general effort I put into the elf on a nightly basis, which is none. He’s been here for two nights. I’m not sorry. I’m like any other parent during the holidays. I get overwhelmed...
View ArticleGuns: The American Holy Grail
I’m from eastern Kentucky. I come from rural roots that include things like cooking with lard and saying, “I reckon” when necessary. I lived in a trailer until I was about three years old while my dad...
View ArticleDear Santa
Dear Santa, How are you? I haven’t written a letter to you in about 35 years, but I’m sure you remember me. You got me that Barbie Dream House one year and I nearly shit my pants with excitement....
View ArticleThe Working Mom VS The SAHM
This piece was originally written for Baby Gizmo. As we say goodbye to 2015, I’m saying goodbye to the mommy wars. I never participated anyway because I truly don’t give a fuck what you think about my...
View ArticleThe Mom’s (Tumultuous) Relationship With Style
This post was originally written for Baby Gizmo. As a blogger, a mother, and a woman, I am curious what other moms think of style. Is it important to you? If so, is it important every day or only on...
View ArticleInsults From My Fitbit
Piss off, Fitbit. It’s been a snowy week in Kentucky, which means almost no school. We just came off a two-week Christmas break (during which time it was as warm as 70 degrees and mother nature...
View ArticleFrom Lloyd Dobbler to Mark Darcy: A Dating Timeline
Photo: Rant Lifestyle This post originally appeared on Baby Gizmo. As a woman of a certain age, I often find myself thinking about stupid and inconsequential scenarios while doing mundane things like...
View ArticleGroundhog Day
Yesterday afternoon one of my children came into the living room and lovingly put a heart sticker on my hand. He didn’t say anything at that moment because I was talking. He just smiled and walked...
View ArticleStickerKid: Because Kids Lose Sh*t
I’m now sure how else to put this, so here it is: Does your kid lose a lot of shit? Like jackets, thermoses, shoes, lunch boxes, folders, or even THEMSELVES? (This totally happened to me once with one...
View ArticleThe Road To Forty: It Begins
When I’m driving (which feels like all the time) I often experience ten or more ideas for topics I’d like to discuss on my blog. They ping around in my head, bouncing off the sides, never quite coming...
View ArticleTeenagers and Social Media: No More Secrets
I listened to an interview on NPR’s morning edition with David Greene about teens and social media. He spoke with Nancy Jo Sales, author of American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of...
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